Recently, a most disagreeable little man of my acquaintance (Let’s call him “Chaz Patricio”) burst into my living room unannounced and without knocking. Unsightly under the best of circumstances, Chaz was disheveled, unshaven, and it appeared that his clothing had been worn continuously for the previous 48 hours. He reeked of what smelled like equal part of body odor, stale urine, and rose water. He stomped his mud-caked boots across my Persian carpet, farted loudly, then abruptly dropped his weight into my antique silk-upholstered armchair. He lit a cigar and then launched into a vociferous denunciation of my wife and how she had been unfaithful to me.
When I told Mr. Patricio that I found his charges difficult to believe he lunged up from his seat, grasped my lapels and not only insisted that he was correct, he then demanded to know what I was going to do about it. At that point, I was angry and disgusted and demanded that Chaz Patricio get out of my home immediately. As I was leading him to the door he called me a “blue dog” and a “bully” and told me that my writing was “pedestrian”. (A commentary, I wondered, on my recent essay on walking the sidewalks of New York.)
Some time after that, I learned that my wife had not been altogether faithful. There were some extenuating circumstances and, it turns out, she had not actually slept with the guy but her inappropriate behavior caused some problems in our marriage that we’re still trying to sort out.
If Chaz had made a less repugnant exposition of his concerns, it may ultimately have made no difference at all. However, now I am angry, hurt, and disgusted at both of them. Presentation does matter a great deal when you’re delivering a message.
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